Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
