I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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