I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
