We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
