You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
