She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
