When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
