In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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