McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Blood and glitter go together right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
