tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
