Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
