Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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