Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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