I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this boner is exhausting
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
