so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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