They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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