Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
