Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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