He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
