It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we're making bets on your personal life
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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