hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
