Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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