This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
