I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
whose parrot is this?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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