I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
