I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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