i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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