He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
