Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
