the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
