How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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