i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
