I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
