did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
