I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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