Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
