Im at strip club and am horny
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You pole danced in your parka.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
