do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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