I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
