That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
