That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
