His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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