i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
