he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
