I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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