I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
