Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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