If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
