I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
