You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
