Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
