Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The feeling are messing with the penis
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My vagina is very pro this idea
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
